Call me late to the game, but I’ve recently been hooked on the cat collecting game, Neko Atsume. I can’t help myself – the cats are insanely adorable, and at least they don’t poop all over my yard. It’s becoming a bit of an obsession for me to want to collect them all, as if I’m playing Pokemon all over again.
In my opinion, there are two key objectives in the game. The first is to get all the cats to visit your yard and see them. The second is to collect their mementoes. I’m still working on that one.
For a supposedly mindless game that’s all about cute cats, it’s pretty much ruining my life. Lots of my friends play this game, and we often commiserate over the trouble we have with these fictional felines – here are 10 Neko Atsume problems you can relate to if you’ve played this game.
1. “I need to sleep but I can’t because Tubbs is still here.”
This happens to me all the time. I’ll want to refill my food bowls before going to bed, but His Royal Fatness is sleeping next to the food. I can’t refill it, because if I do he’ll give me an embarrassingly low amount of fish. (Note: Fish are the currency used in the game to buy toys and food for the cats). But I need to refill it because I NEED TO SLEEP. It’s agonizing.
2. My sashimi does not bring the rare cats to the yard
Hello sashimi is not cheap. One plate of sashimi costs 5 gold fish, which is equivalent to 250 regular fish. What is the point of me laying out such exquisite cuisine when none of the rare cats show up so that I can add them to my collection?
3. All these expensive toys… and no cats in sight
Again, why do I spend fish on toys like the Cat Café or Cat Metropolis when nobody shows up? There’s nothing worse than seeing a yard full of expensive toys and filled food bowls… and no cats around. I cry.
4. Missing a rare cat
Neko Atsume only records a cat has having been ‘collected’ if you see it in your yard. I’ve missed rare cats practically a thousand times – it took me a solid week and 6 visits before I finally spotted Chairman Meow, and far longer before I opened my app and Guy Furry was whipping up an ice-cream sundae in my yard. Thanks guys.
5. You’ve visited me 52 times and still no memento
This was my boyfriend’s biggest problem in Neko Atsume. He had all the mementoes except for Guy Furry, and he got so agitated everytime that chef cat showed up in his yard and didn’t give him his memento. I think he spent a solid week grumbling over the fact before he finally got the memento, after 53 visits to his yard.
6. You’ve given me a memento but I’VE NOT SEEN YOUR FACE
This happened with me and Chairman Meow. He gave me his memento on his fifth visit, but I hadn’t seen him in my yard at all. He always came while I was working or sleeping or doing other things other than fussing over cats in my yard. I finally saw him on his sixth visit, and he hasn’t been back since. Though that’s because I kept his Earthenware Pot.
7. Why do you only give me 2 silver fish
When a cat’s been in your yard for hours and when it finally leaves, it gives you… two regular fish. I get so upset. Fish, in this game, are extremely important to my happiness.
8. DON’T EAT MY FOOD, TUBBS
At a certain point in the game, Tubbs showing up is more of a hindrance than a help because he’s eating food that you need to attract other cats to your yard. Opening the app and seeing his smug fat face sleeping next to my food bowl just makes me want to yell sometimes.
9. My Cat Metropolis is EMPTY
This particular toy can hold at least five cats at any one time, so seeing it empty sends me into a minor crisis. It cost me 50 gold fish, can you all please just go play with it?
10. Nothing attracts Peaches. Nothing.
She’s the rarest non-rare cat, if that makes any sense. She’s a pretty pink colour with a cute heart-shaped marking, but she shows up once in a blue moon because there are no toys she actually really likes. Trying to get her memento is a pain in the ass. I still don’t have it.
Yup. Call me insane, but this game right now is pretty much what I’m doing on my phone if I’m not texting or surfing social media. I love it, and I have fun with it, despite all my complaints, and that’s the most important thing. Now I’m seriously considering buying a Neko Atsume t-shirt.
At least I don’t draw up Excel sheets or take notes detailing when which cat showed up and what toys it likes the most, okay.
Also I’m writing listicles for my personal blog. Clearly work is ruining my life as much as this cat game. Oh well :3