Period cramps suck.
Not only is menstruation is a metaphorical pain that is inconvenient as hell, I also suffer physical pain wherein my body aches and my uterus feels like it’s trying to contort itself inside out. Not fun.
I get away with milder cramps than some of my friends- a close friend of mine has cramps so bad she can’t get out of bed. It’s no joke. If this is punishment for not being pregnant, then eh, f#$% this sh*t man.
I’m a pinnacle of angst, can you tell 😛
Seeing as if complaining was a real sport, I would win the Olympic gold, I decided to share how I deal with my period cramps. Who knows, maybe someone will find this useful.
1. Complain. Loudly.
If you follow me on Twitter (or if you are my boyfriend/Sarach), you will hear about my cramps. I firmly believe that on a subconscious level, complaining helps ease my pain because it helps me ease my angst.
Pent up emotional frustration over what feels like my uterus trying to commit seppuku makes the physical pain worse, so yeah. But I limit my complaining to a handful of people, as well as to Twitter , so people can just scroll past my tweets. It’s a free country, ok.
2. Snack. A lot.
Chocolate. Potato chips. Cashew nuts. Cupcakes. Biscuits. Ice-cream. I consume so much food when I’m on my period, and it’s usually junk. I think it’s something to do with the weird hormonal changes and such that just make me crave a lot of junk food, but hey, it makes me feel better, so I just roll with it. I can always go to the gym after my cramps have subsided to make up for all the crap I’ve ingested, but usually I just remain a couch potato.
3. Apply pressure
Not that kind of pressure lah.
I’m not sure if this works for everyone, but it works for me. Applying pressure to the area just below the stomach helps ease the pain for me. I usually just hug one of my numerous large stuffed animals to my belly and curl up in bed, but just laying a hand over it and pressing down gives some relief. It doesn’t make the pain go away completely, but it makes my uterus feel less like it’s trying to eviscerate itself.
4. Get a distraction
Make yourself busy. Read a good book, or binge-watch all of your favourite YouTuber’s videos. Catch up on some work, or surf tumblr incessantly. Bake a cake (to help fulfill your cravings for #2) or stalk cute people on social media. Basically, find a way to distract yourself. Once again, it doesn’t magically make the pain disappear, but if you get really into something, the aches don’t bother you so much.
Another alternative is to sleep. You cannot feel pain if you are sleeping.
If all else fails and you are in tremendous pain, take Panadol. Don’t bother specially buying that pink Panadol for menstrual cramps- frankly, I just take the regular Panadol for pain relief that I take when I have a headache, and it works just fine. I generally try to avoid taking Panadol unless my pain gets really bad, but sometimes, you just want the cramps to go the f$#% away before you stab someone.
These are just some ways I use in order to mitigate period cramps, and to help me carry on with life as normal during that rather trying time of the month. Hopefully someone got something out of this, even if it’s just a laugh.
But seriously, ladies, if you’ve got severe cramps that hurt so bad that you can’t even move, go to the doctor. Stay safe, yo, and well, have a happy period? Okay bye I’m just gonna go eat more chocolate. Cheers.